Do Not Write These Stories

So while I should be doing a thousand other things, I got a little distracted clicking through various blogs I sometimes (i.e. everyday) read as a form of procrastination.

During said process, I came across this page: Horror Stories We Have Seen Too Often.  "This list is part of the submission guidelines for Strange Horizons, an online speculative fiction magazine." Basically a list of plots and subplots that this magazine feels is over done.  Some of these I also think I have seen too often, and I'm not even in the business of reading through hundreds of story submissions.

1. Serial killer or vampire stalks and slays victim(s). --  Now I do like serial killer and vampire stories, but yeah market is the definition of oversaturated right now. 
2. Alien creature lays eggs under the skin of a human (#12 on their list) -- Uh, yeah b/c it is gross and creepy.  I don't think personally I have read too many such stories, but I can see why it is on their list.

But ok, that isn't actually the point of the post; the point (if there is one at all) is about #3:

Protagonist sits around for a while.

1. In the end, it turns out protagonist is dead.
2. In the end, it turns out protagonist is a serial killer.

Seriously?  People have written so many "protagonist sits around for a while" stories that it is now on a list of "things not to do."?  How could anyone ever think that was a good idea for a storyline?
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R.I.P news:  Reading The Haunting of Hill House. Wow is this ever one of those instances where Hollywood should have left the book alone.  Shirley Jackson's writing is amazing.  More on this book soon. 

Oh and I have read book #3, but I have to figure out how to review it.  I finished (weeks ago) The Castle of Otranto, but I'm not sure what I have to say that hasn't already been said-- seeing as how it was written in 1764.  It is also, supposedly, the first Gothic novel. 

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Ok ok, so sorry this post is random, I just have to add something this list is much funnier. Especially:

35. Twee little fairies with wings fly around being twee. 

Today I...

wrote a paper. Sort of. I mean I did write the paper, but it is not very good. And it isn't actually done b/c I mean I literally wrote the paper, i.e. with a pen. So it isn't typed, so I have to type it. And add all the sections where I said "see star" or "see pg one" or "see quote" or "see other introduction." In other words, it is not assembled and the pieces are all over my room, might be a few outside too (on the porch).

Oh and I uh did not write (or even type, or really think about) the paper that is due TOMORROW. Funny how that was a self-imposed deadline. Hi, prof I NEED a deadline to function. Ok, how about March 31st? Great! And the email tomorrow will read, sorry but I really haven't had time to even look at your paper.

Hot Chocolate Induced Insomnia

Seriously what the hell? I know that it was rich thick amazing chocolate, but I cannot actually believe that I am still awake. While this does give me an opportunity to pretend that I have a blog that I update, I do need to be productive tomorrow, which means I need to go to sleep now. Not likely to happen any time soon :(

Also not likely b/c my friend is on Skype and we decided to relive the funny terrifying moments spent in the convent in Ukraine this summer. As most people know, we didn't actually live in the convent, but in converted apartments in the courtyard. A key moment being when the mirror crashed to the floor around midnight scaring us to death: my roommate said "call 911" and I grabbed a vase for "protection." Not a good moment for either of us :)

But otherwise...what have I been up to since the SuperBowl? Well nothing. Went out for Valentine's Day, had fun dancing, became even more addicted to a certain band, applied for funding and stuff, wrote a few pages, read a few books, had an existential (or maybe theoretical) crisis, became involved in random department drama. And to add one thing more:

Started a secessionist movement - that is crucial and defining. Long live the Republic of West Florida!!

But sadly the people (person?) who reads this already knew all of that. Bleh.